While we do take teaching you those essential driving skills very seriously- we also like to think that all of our fantastic driving instructors have a sense of humor. So here are our choice picks of driving humour for you to chuckle away too! (Apologies in advance if anyone is offended!)
What’s the difference between a flashing red light and a flashing yellow light? The Colour
Man: My wife’s driving is like lightening!
Man’s Friend: You mean she’s fast?
Man: Nope I mean she hits trees
A father was driving his son to school when he accidently made an illegal turn at the traffic lights. He quickly realized his mistake and said “Oops, I think I just made an illegal turn.”
“It’s OK, Dad,” said his son reassuringly. “The police car behind us did the exact same thing.”
Things not to say to a police officer after you have just been pulled over:
1. Would you mind terribly holding my beer, while I just reach into my glove compartment to get my license for you?
2. You kept up well Officer! You must have been doing at least 125 mph to have kept up with me!
3. Oh I’m sorry I didn’t realize you were a cop! I thought Police Officers needed to be in relatively good physical condition!
4. I was thinking about joining the police force, but I decided to go for a proper career instead!
5. There’s nothing in the trunk…Honest!
6. Is it true that people become cops because they are too stupid to work anywhere else?
A man arrived home after a tiring day at work, his wife was waiting for him. She led him to the sofa and sat him down. “Darling I have some good news and some bad news for you.” The man stroked his chin thoughtfully “Ok what’s the good news?” The wife replied: ”The air bag works great!”
Here’s just one more:
There were two elderly women out driving a large car, and both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were making their way through the town they came across a junction. The traffic lights shone red clearly but they just carried on driving.
The elderly lady who was seated in the passenger seat thought to herself, ‘I must be losing my mind, I’m sure that we just went through a red light!’
A few minutes later they reached a second junction and once again the traffic light shone red brightly. The large vehicle passed through it for the second time. Alarm bell began to ring and the woman in the passenger seat was almost 100% sure that the light had been red but wasn’t sure if it was her bad eyesight playing tricks on her!
Nervous, she decided to pay very close attention to the road ahead and the next set of traffic lights at the upcoming junction.
Yes the lights were definitely red! and as before they had driven straight through them! She turned to her companion in the driving seat and said@ “Mildred! Did you know we just drove through three red lights in a row! You could have killed the both of us!”
Mildred turned to her and said, “Oh, am I driving then?”